Cardio?

I am by no means a picture of health and fitness. Looking around me I see few that are either. Recently I made a conscious decision that I need to exercise more. I need to be in better health. I know you’re thinking you’re on the wrong blog. Health? Fitness? I know you are thinking, “I am here for zombies and zombie related stuff. What is this health and fitness crap stuff? Bring on the rotting corpses!” Well hold on there Polly Prissy Pants and let me get to my point. In all likelihood you are either going to be away from your fortress when the zombie apocalypse occurs or you will have to venture out for resources. And if you are going to be outside of your fortress, you will have to avoid the zombies. The zombies will be motivated by their need for your delicious BRAINS and will be chasing you as quickly as their rotting flesh will allow. So, if you’ve been spending your free time munching on Doritos and downing Dr. Peppers (or whatever your snack of choice is), you aren’t going to be in much shape to out run those monsters. When I came to this realization, immediately I started calculating the amount of exercise I was getting a day on average. And the average is well…shameful for a lack of a better word. Quiet honestly the only thing I can currently out run is a rock. And it might go faster if someone were to pick it up and throw it. 

So, the point to all of this? I am going to start an exercise challenge. My goal is to get at least 1.5 hours a week of exercise. Will you join me in this challenge? Will you get in shape so I can have some other survivors to talk to once the apocalypse occurs?

Wondering how fast a zombie can really run,
The wife

Disclaimer: You should never start any exercise/diet program without discussing it with your doctor. I am not a medical professional and I am not providing you with any medical advice. If you want to join the challenge, that’s great! But you do so at your own risk. So please consult a physician if you have any questions in regards to the proper exercise or diet regiment that is best for you.

Have you seen it?

Okay, so 3 episodes of AMC's The Walking Dead have been shown. Have you seen it yet? I must say I am hooked. I am really enjoying the story they've developed. I still can't believe Meryl cut off his hand!! Its not quite the same as the graphic novel, but well done none the less.

Anyway, if you don't know what I am talking about you can see info here on AMC's website. The even have Episode 1 available for viewing.

The only thing I don't like is the fact that they only have 6 episodes!

Waiting with baited breath for Episode 4,

The wife

Scenario Sundays - The Parking Deck

This weeks Scenario Sunday scenario: You’re walking up the stairs of the parking deck and exit onto the level where your car is parked. You begin to walk down the aisle toward your car when you notice a small group of people who appear to be crouched down and chewing? Chewing?! They look as though they are shoveling something into their mouths. The something looks like it was ripped from the body of someone that is lying on the deck!!!

What do you do now?

Don't forget, you can leave your breakdown of how you'd handle yourself in this situation in the comments section.
 

Reaching for her keys,
The wife

Halloween Again

Happy Halloween everyone! First thing I wanted to say is be extra careful out there as there will be zombies about and some of those zombies will be just kids in mask. So be extra cautious when approaching a "zombie" today. Second thing is tonight is the premier of AMC's The Walking Dead. 

Remember to stay safe. Stay vigiliant. Don't get bit.

Enjoying the holiday,

The wife

How to Prepare for a Zobie Attack - An Exercise in Preparation

Obviously I am late to this show. Last October apparently there was a link on the University of Florida's website for an exercise on how to prepare for a zombie attack. I was at first glad to see that some places were being proactive about the threat of zombies but was soon saddened to see it had been removed. Fortunately, I was able to find it with a little searching online. Attached below is the pdf version of that document. Please enjoy.

Link

Running her own zombie exercise, 

The wife

Please note this was originally retrieved from http://www.astro.ufl.edu/~jybarra/zombieplan.pdf on Oct. 7, 2010.

The top 5 places I don't want to be when the apocalypse occurrs

Top 5 Places I don’t want to be when the Zombie Apocalypse occurs

1. Work - Talk about a place I don't want to be during a disaster. Can there be anything more confusing than being stuck at work away from you loved ones and weapons than being at work? For me, I work in a sea of cubicles. This means that I cannot hold off a zombie apocalypse from my cube. And the location of my cubical puts it a relatively unsafe distance from the nearest emergency exit. Most the rooms in the building are not zombie defendable either. I do however, have a few items laying around my floor that would be good defensively.One on one I may be okay, but otherwise, work is a no go for me.

2. The daughter’s school - As you recall from my Scenario Sunday scenario, I am a softie when it comes to little kids. I don't want to be in a situation where I am going to have to defend tons of small children (because I won't be able to desert them). Not to mention if you are in a carpool lane, you are stuck unless you are at the front or end of the line.

3. The Mall/other large retailer - First, there are always tons of people around which means tons of people to become zombie-fied. The nearest exit can be hard to get through (you have to go around lots of set ups in the stores). And in some cases the nearest exit may be nowhere near your car. You could be on the opposite end of the mall from your car. Could you imagine trying to make your way through an entire mall of zombies? No thanks.



4. A parking Deck - Parking decks always freak me out. No matter how well constructed it is, they are always creaking or bouncing from the weight/movement of all those cars. Not to mention they are almost always dark and glummy even in the middle of the sunniest day. They have large wide open areas and few spots for cover. They have great corners for zombies to hide in and plenty of vehicles for them to hide under or near.




5. The park - The park could be easy peasy or a pain. If you are near the entrance, its a no brainer. But if you are mid way through a trail or you are at the play ground, what are you going to do? You have limited directions to go in to get away from the zombies. And if you walked to the park, there is no car you can get in to give yourself some protection. Heck, the infection could be heavier in the direction you need to go to get to your home.


Hope the apocalypse occurs while I am home,
The Wife

Scenario Sundays - The Park - The breakdown

Last Sunday I posted about being at the park and zombies running toward you during a visit to the park. So what did you do?

Here's what I would do:

Fortunately in my scenario, the zombies are coming toward you from a single direction.  I would turn around make sure no zombies were behind me and run to the parking lot as fast as my legs could carry me. While running like a mad woman (and praying my asthma doesn't trigger), I'd take my cell phone and call the police. I would do my best to inform them of the situation (of course they'd probably think I was nuts and soon they'd be at my home trying to have me "visit" with a "special" doctor). Once in the parking lot, I'd make a bee line to my car and go go go! All the while running I would be checking to make sure there were no zombies ahead of me or on either side of my path, but no looking back. That's when they get you is when you look back.

Making sure I have good running shoes,

The wife

Halloween!

Its now October again! YAY! And my favorite holiday will soon be upon us. However, with Halloween comes all kinds of ghouls, ghosts and dare I say zombies about. So during October it is important to be even more vigilant and aware of your surrounds. 

Keep an eye on the strange old lady slowing crossing the road and the apparent homeless person as they may be zombies.

Have fun and stay safe!

The wife

Easy way to identify zombies

Thanks to the wonderful people at Star Theory, everyone now has a quick easy guide to zombie identification, enjoy.

Studying the new list,
The wife

Picture reprinted from http://startheory.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/the-zombie-injection/

Scenario Sundays - The Park

This weeks Scenario Sunday scenario: You’re at the local park taking a leisurely stroll around the trails when you notice that those annoying joggers are actually running and screaming. They are even running from the direction you are headed. One stops briefly enough to tell you “They’re coming. You have to get out of here” before bolting again. As you turn around facing the direction you were originally headed, you notice some other “joggers” struggling to even walk. They look slumped over and injured.

Don't forget, you can leave your breakdown of how you'd handle yourself in this situation in the comments section.

Starting a jogging routine,
The wife

Zombie Threat Meter Update

We are officially at a Level 2. I have seen quite some strange things as of late. Zombies procured in shops, a higher number of cob webs and many ghost. I think we may be under siege.

Double checking those plastic looking zombies,

The wife

Scenario Sundays - School - The breakdown

Last sunday, our scenario involved being at school when the zombie apocalypse occurred. So what did you think you would do?

Here's what I would do. Since the entrance and myself are at the front of the room, it gives me a little more room to work with. The kids, they are going to be terrified (depending on age, I envisoned elementary aged school children). My thought is grab the teachers chair as I would be near it since I am presenting (so I took the approach that I was discussing my zombie fighting career). Use the chair to push her back out that door and shut it. Lock it if possible. She's going to try and get in and there is a classroom of little scaried kids. Now you can either exit through the nearest window leaving the kids there to fend for themselves or protect them. At the local elementary school, the door to the hallway is solid, no glass. So I would not be worried about the teacher getting in. I would next call the school office (of course I have my cellphone) and try to find out what is going on. In the meantime, I would be looking out the windows for signs of other zombies and securing any other exterior doors. If someone (living, breathing person) answered, I would get them to assist in the teacher extraction while the kids were secured. Otherwise, it would be exit out the windows/rear door to the nearest vehicle large enough to house the kids. Of course, I don't know what I would do with a bus load of children. If it was only 1 crazied teacher, I hope the police would not think I was a kidnapper. So this one may not work out in my favor.

Hoping the apocalypse doesn't occur when kids are around,
The wife

PS - I hope this doesn't mean that the kid zombies will do me in....

Scenario Sundays - School

Alrighty, here is our 2nd scenario. let's see what you'd do:

You’re at the local school picking up your child/niece/nephew (or for those of you without kids, pretend you’re there to talk to a class about your awesome career as zombie fighter extraordinary). Suddenly you notice one of the teachers looks awfully pale and an arm is starting to detach from her body (ewww). She lunges right for you. What do you do?

Just a friendly reminder that you are welcome to leave your run down of the scenario in the Comments section.

Look for "school friendly" methods of defense,
The wife

Lasting Supplies

Your sick of it I know. Supplies, supplies, supplies. I mean we talked about the “to go” pack but if you are building an impenetrable fortress to protect yourself against zombies, you will need more than a meager 3 day supply.


When the zombies arrive I can bet they won’t be gone in a few days. I don’t think we will be as lucky as Shaun was in Shaun of the Dead. You’re going to need enough stuff to get you through for months maybe even a year. Of course, anything longer than that and you need to plan on sustainable growth of plants to continue feeding you and your family (assuming you aren't pigging out on tasty brains).


So before you are able to get those seeds growing and the harvest ready, what supplies should you have on hand? What do you need in order to survive for 2 weeks? A month? 6 Months?!


Here's a list I have complied through my research:

• Water
• Canned Veggies
• Canned Meat
• Canned Fruit
• Protein Bars
• Other non-perishables like peanut butter
• Comfort Foods (sorry but I refuse to live without ketchup)
• First aid kit
• Sleeping bag or blanket
• UNSCENTED Bleach & medicine dropper (for water purification)
• Fire Extinguisher
• Matches in a waterproof container or waterproof matches
• Something to eat out of/with (mess kit, cup, utentsils)
• Battery Powdered or hand crank emergency radio 
• FLASHLIGHTS and extra batteries (or better yet, hand crank flashlight)
• Poncho
• Games/Books/Etc. (something to keep your mind off the doom)
• Tools such as a crowbar, hammer & nails, staple gun, adjustable wrench and bungee cords
• Garbage bags, plastic ties, towelettes, toilet paper and a bucket for sanitation
• Personal hygiene items (may not be a big deal with limited water, plus you'll smell like a zombie. Great way to blend in)
• MAPS
• Can opener
• Pocket knife
• Whistle
• Bat or other large object that can be used for defense
• Special needs items (prescription meds, etc)
• Work Gloves
• Something to cook your food with 
• Clothes (at least some seasonal ones)

Now there are plenty of sites out there with info on emergency supplies. Go out and do a web search. Don't take my list as the end all be all. These were just the items I am stocking. So what do you have saved up?

Wondering if our supplies can be stored in The Husband's side of the closet,

The Wife

Scenario Sundays - The Mall - Follow Up

Last week I posted a scenario for all of you to consider. That post can be found here. Today, I breakdown what goes through my mind for this kind of scenario.



First thing is first. Is it only 1 or 2 zombies or has the rest of the mall succumbed to the infection? You need to assess the severity of the situation. If it’s only a few zombies, you have a greater chance of escape. Whereas half a mall of zombies will make it difficult to get away and then you have to look for locations in the mall that you can hold up in so you can defend yourself.

Malls, in my opinion, have to many locations that are not defendable against zombies. All the glass store fronts, large doorways, multiple entrances, etc. Perhaps if you could get behind the metal gate in a store that is not infused with an infected individual you could be safe (maybe for a short period of time). That’s why I want to get to my car away from the situation if at all possible. So, I would next figure out where exactly my car is in relation to where I am in the Mall? Is it on the same level or a different level? What’s the closest exit to get to my car? Other than escape you have to think about the potential of coming in close contact with a zombie. Do you have something you can use to knock the zombies back? A large bag or purse? Is there a store nearby with something you can borrow (chain saw??).

So, my plan is to (1) get something to defend myself with (if I don't have something on my person), (2) Find the nearest exit and (3) get in my car and get the heck out of there!

Wondering what kind of tool fits well in my purse,
The wife

Friendly Reminder

Do you remember when I posted about the “To Go Pack”? I know its been awhile. But if you put one together, you need to check the expiration date on your goodies. I know this is a late reminder (mine should have been done in July), but better late than never.

So to keep us all with foods and other items that aren’t expired, I will be posting another reminder in Dec. to update your kits. Your To Do list for today:

(1) Check Expiration of all medications, treatment products (ex. Neosporin), foods, drinks
(2) Replace any expired items
(3) Replace any items that will expire within the next 6 months
(4) Check Clothing – Are they appropriate for the upcoming season? Are they still the correct size?
(5) Identify what items you are still lacking?
(6) Rotate your water supply

For those food/drink items that will expire between now and before 6 months is up, you can consider the following:

(1) Donate the item (only if expiration date is still valid)
(2) Feed the item to someone (only if expiration date is still valid)
(3) Eat the item (only if expiration date is still valid)
(4) Throw it out (only if past expiration)

Remember that the food items you pack should be foods that you normally eat. This way when you need to rotate that item out of your “To Go Pack”, you can rotate it back to your pantry instead of wasting it. Plus who wants to be stuck with something they don’t like when they have to evacuate.

Checking expiration dates,
The wife

Don’t forget to store your pack in a convenient location. One that is easily accessible during an emergency but not in the way for your normal everyday life.

Scenario Sundays - The Mall

So I thought I’d start a recurring theme here at Zombie Proofing Your Home. I’m calling it Scenario Sundays. Every few Sundays, I will post a new scenario and ask you questions about how you would handle the situation if you were in it. You are welcome to leave your run down of the scenario in the Comments section. However, any rude, demeaning or otherwise “Troll” like comments will be deleted.

Pretty much the idea behind this is to already have a game plan of actions you would/should take if you found yourself in one of these situations. Its like having a fire escape plan for your family. The likelihood that your home will be hit with fire is not great, but if it were to happen, you have a fire escape plan in place and know what to do (which can be hard to figure out if you are in panic mode). I don’t suggest emulating any of the these scenarios out in the real world. If you start running crazily through the mall or anyplace else, you may find yourself detained by the police. However, I do encourage you to reconsider your surroundings during every day activities. You should be asking yourself, “What’s the closest exit?” “What’s the most direct route out of the parking lot?” Its much easier to survive a disaster if you have a plan in place than just “winging it” when the situation occurs. When you plan you have an idea of what you want/need to do and are less likely to panic. And we all know that panic will be the greatest enemy you have when facing zombies.

Without further a due, here is our first scenario:

(1) You’re at the mall wondering around the main corridor on the First Floor below the food court (centered between any given store). Suddenly you notice some of the other patrons are moving slower and appear to have an appetite for BRAINS. What do you do?

I’ll post my breakdown next Sunday. You’ll be able to see my thoughts on this situation.

Looking for a map of the Mall,
The wife

National Preparedness Month

Did you know that September is National Preparedness month? Yah, me neither. But it is. Its a month that the Ready Campaign in partnership with Citizen Corps and the Ad Council work together to get people to take simple steps to become prepared for emergencies.

Their philosophy is "Get A Kit. Make A Plan. Be Informed. Get Involved." Kind of sounds like what we are promoting around here too.

Did you know that a Citizen Corps survey in 2009 revealed that only 57% of Americans have supplies set aside for an emergency and only 44% have an emergency plan? If those other 43% don't have supplies how will they survive the zombie apocalypse? More importantly will they be trying to eat my supplies?

Since it is National Preparedness Month, I encourage all of you to take a look at your kit (or start one if you haven't). Make a plan on how to best defend yourself and family against zombies. Stay informed on the current zombie sitings and get involved with preparing your community to withstand the outbreak.

You can check out more info here.

Checking the "To Go Kit",
The wife

The Dream Home - part 2

Remember all those long months ago when I discussed the location for your impenetrable fortress? Well, today, I'd like to talk about what the house itself and things  you should consider.

Fence?

In my mind, I picture a lovely brick home with a gorgeous rod iron fence surrounding the well kept yard. Yah, I know it sounds like something out of one of those home magazines. But in my mind, the fence is a must. It is your first line of defense against zombies. For keeping unwanted visitors away, I always envision a very tall rod iron fence. You know, the kind with 2 vertical rails that are spaced far enough apart that neither would be useful in climbing over the fence. The top of the fence would end in nice, sharp points (perfect for impaling those dumb enough to scale the fence) and the rails would be close enough together that even a small child could not fit through. Of course, this may not be the best fence to use especially if a large mass of zombies were to attack at once.

So what kind of fence would you want? A solid brick or cinderblock wall? Wooden fence? Whatever you choose, make sure the material is low maintenance and will withstand the elements for a LONG time.

Building Materials

I don't know much about building materials. I know what I like and what I don't. I'm thinking of going with a steel frame. I figure those are more fire resistant than 2x4s plus sturdier. The outside should be some sort of stone or brick. No particle board for me. One good rain and zombies rush through the mashed wood and glue mixture. I wonder how workable concrete would be for walls?

Entry Points

Obviously, you must minimize this one. Of course, you don't want to have just one entry point. How would you escape if the zombies broke through? In addition to the number of entry points you really have to think about your entry points. Will it be a door? If so, what kind? Wooden? Glass? Will there be glass insets nearby. In my own head, I hear lots of "nos" to these questions. Personally, I like a strong solid wood door with some sort of storm door in front of it. Maybe one of those with metal bars inlaid? I like the idea of two doors as that provides an extra layer of security.

Don't forget windows too. Those can also be used as entry points. I suggest using something that is good for efficiency and some sort of guard over it. 

How Many levels?

Personally, I like a multi-level home. For zombie fortification, a basement is what I prefer. Something that has an escape route plus plenty of storage for all your food, water, etc.

So what will your fortress be like? What items will you include?

Wondering how to get a set of those metal security doors, 

The wife

I'm so EXCITED

Seldom do I get so excited, but I found out that AMC will be debuting a 6 episode series on Halloween called The Walking Dead. The premise is a man wakes up alone in a hospital. Unbeknown to him a virus has infected people and now the dead walk. I know, a premise we have seen before. But you need to check out the trailer at ComingSoon.net. The trailer is very well done. It has me super excited to see the series. Hopefully it will be as good as the trailer.
Remember it premieres Oct. 31 at 9 pm EST.

Setting the DVR up,
The wife

Side Note: I was not paid to plug this series. As anyone who reads this blog knows or anyone who knows me in real life knows of my love of all things zombie. This is my attempt to inform all you out there in cyber space of something new and zombie.

Jump start on Making Your Own First Aid Kit

So, have you started that first aid kit? If not, Band-aid is giving you a box! Okay, not just giving it too you, you have to buy 3 of the following products: Purell, Band-aid and/or Neosporin. So while you are buying some supplies for your kit, save you receipt and upcs and submit this form for your own first aid box.

Stocking up on first aid supplies,
The wife

It was too funny for words - Enjoy

Adventures with Powdered Eggs

If you recall, a few months ago I posted about my use of Powdered Milk. I must admit, that I finally figured out that if I made the stuff in a regular sized bottle (16-20 oz), it worked out better. At least I could shake it up better. Since the powdered milk experiment fared well (other than the chunks), I decided to expand out and try something else that we don’t use a lot of (ie. we waste more than we use) and then I found it – Powdered Eggs! How ingenious. We don’t eat eggs often, but on occasion I need them for baking and well there’s nothing like getting ready to make a cake only to discover the eggs are out of date by a month.

I really wanted to find a small package of powdered eggs, not a #10 can size. I wanted to start small this time (you know in case they were horrible). Finally after hours of scouring the internet, I came across shelfreliance.com and was able to buy a package of powdered eggs that was 0.41 lb size Mylar bag. I even copied a recipe they had on their site for upside down apple pancakes.

The package I received says it has 37serving sizes, which is about equal to 37 eggs. You can reconstitute it by adding 2 tbsp water to 1 tbsp powdered eggs. Or if you are mixing it in with a bunch of other dry ingredients you don’t have to reconstitute it, just add a little bit extra water to your mix.

I paid $5.64 not including my shipping. That's about 15 cent an egg or $1.83 a dozen. Not to mention the shipping charge. By far not the cheapest eggs you can get. However, regular eggs can't be stored for 5 years unopened or 6 months after opening. With as many eggs as we have to throw out, its probably a even $ exchange.

Experiment 1

Since I was super excited to get the powdered eggs (it’s the small things in life that make me happy), I started right away to make the upside down apple pancakes. I prepared the apples as required by the recipe and preheated the oven. I mixed all the other ingredients together. I poured the apple mixture into my pan then covered them with the other ingredients. The eggs were mixed in with the other ingredients, not the apple mixture. The eggs mixed in easily. No hassles there and no goopy shells to deal with (plus!!). I put my experiment in the oven to bake. Once done, I removed from the oven and tried the pancakes. The pancake portion seemed very fluffy, almost spongy looking even. One taste told me why, it was more omelet like than pancake like. I am NO fan of omelets so I was greatly disappointed. I had proven the eggs were easy to use, but I could not prove that they were tasty. Strike 1!
(Sorry no photo here. I threw everything out so quickly I forgot to take a photo.)

Experiment 2

Not to let one failed experiment stop me, I decided to try using the powdered eggs again. This time, I replaced the 3 eggs required in my cake mix with the powdered eggs. Since water and oil were already being added to the mix, I added about 1 tablespoon more water to the mixture. Again, the powdered eggs easily mixed in to the mix. There was no messy shells to worry with either. I baked the cake per the instructions on the box. The cake baked as normal . The husband (the big cake eater), tried the cake and said it tasted good (which means he didn’t taste anything unusual because he doesn’t know about my minor substitution). He even noted a few days after I baked the cake, that it was still very fresh and not dried out. Which after a few days this is odd. Normally if I don’t put cake/cupcakes into some sort of sealed container, the cake dries out and is stale. Was it the eggs that have prevented the staleness? I don’t know, but I think this calls for a dual experiment (cake with regular eggs & one with powdered eggs).

So my thoughts? I’m still not 100% on these powdered eggs. But you can bet that I will try them again if nothing else in my mixes. I so love something that doesn’t make a mess and is easy to use. Maybe I will get adventurous and make scrambled eggs with them. Hmmm….

Wondering if The Husband would like 2 cakes,

The Wife


P.S. – I had already written this article before this weekend rolled around. This weekend I used the powdered eggs in the yeast rolls I made. So far, no difference in taste.


Remember this is not an endorsement for Powdered Eggs or ShelfReliance.com. The wife received no compensation for this product or her review. She spent her own money and this is her opinion.Your experience may differ. No whining or complaining if your results differ.

Speak Like a Zombie?

I know some of you have read these articles and think I am never going to be a Chris Redfield or Jill Valentine. I can't take zombies out. I can't do the "double tap". Well, for those of you that have this problem, a reader alerted me to a book that may make your life easier.

How to Speak Zombie - A Guide for the Living
by Steve Mockus

The book "demonstrates how to blend in and avoid being eaten while carrying on with everyday activities like ordering a latte from a zombarista and shopping at a zombie-infested mall. This essential guide features an electronic sound module that demonstrates proper zombie pronunciation ("RAHHHhh!"), helpful text that explores the customs and etiquette of the zombie world, and detailed illustrations that show the undead doing everything from pumping iron to dancing the night away. Deeply informative, this handbook also includes an all-purpose BRAINS button that can be used in any situation, deadly or otherwise."

Personally, I don't know why you'd want to blend in with these monster. I plan to smash and bash any zombies in my path.

Wondering if the book makes a good distraction,

The Wife


Thanks to Susan for this neat find. Check out Chronicle Books for more info on this book.Remember this is not an endorsement and no compensation was given to The wife.

On Vacation

Tired of last year’s stay-cation, we are venturing to Disney later this year. This means we shall have a week filled adventure in a place far, far away. Why am I telling you about MY vacation? I’m sure you’re thinking “wow, great. And I care why?” Why should you care? Because vacations, visiting relatives, business trips, etc are trips that can take you hours even days away from you fortress. They take you away from that place that protects you from zombies. You know, that place we are working so hard to fortify?

As I plan for our Mickey visit, I am also planning how to keep safe from zombies while away.

BEFORE YOU LEAVE

Once you loaded up the car and turned down the drive, your home will not have you there to defend it in case of zombie attack. So what should you do to ensure your fortress is not ravaged by zombies or slackers too lazy to build their own sanctuary?

(1) Check your entry points – Lock your doors and windows. Consider even boarding up some less frequently used or out of the way entry points that need reinforcement anyway.

(2) Clean up your yard – Make sure you haven’t left anything out that zombies can use to get into your home (remember my cinderblock?).

(3) Make sure all animals are being taken care of – Don’t leave them to be zombie snacks

(4) Maps – Make sure you have a map of where you are going in case you need to find the nearest exit or the local gun shop.

(5) FOOD – Be sure you have plenty of snacks and drinks in your vehicle. If the zombie outbreak occurs while you are on the road, you won’t be able to stop and grab food.

WHILE YOU ARE THERE

Once you have reached your destination, you have to be on your toes. A strange place with strange people may make it easier for zombies to sneak up on you and devour your unsuspecting brain.

(1) Stay Alert – Watch those around you and make sure you know where you are. Don’t aimlessly walk around in an unknown area.

(2) Carry a map – You know, just in case you weren’t alert

(3) Carry a small bag/backpack with snacks, drinks, first aid kit and means of protection - I am not saying carry a gun or knife around here. That is actually illegal in some places and I don’t want anyone being arrested. I was thinking more of a bat/golf club/sock of quarters.

WHEN YOU RETURN

When you finally make your way home, you will want to make sure that zombies have not set up in your fortress.

(1) Inspection – Are all your entry ways still locked up/boarded up like when you left? Is there any broken glass or other items strewn across your lawn?

(2) CAUTION – It’s always good to use caution until you can once again secure your home and verify that it is zombie free.

Enjoy your time away. I hope when you return the zombies have not made a meal of you.

Checking the doors,

The Wife

THEY LIVE

I can't believe, the zombies are walking among us....reported sightings in Canada!

CNN iReport


Thankful to Not live in Canada,

The wife

Poll: Are zombies fast moving or slow?

If you're familiar with George A Romero's movies, zombies were slow creatures and mostly could catch you due to the sheer number of them. I mean if there are a million slow moving zombies, you aren't going to get away. Newer movies depict zombies as fast moving creatures. Those guys move faster than Olympic sprinters. So, what are your thoughts? Are zombies slow or fast moving?

Leave your opinion in the comments.

The wife

New Feature - Zombie Apocalypse Threat Level

For your convenience, I have added a new meter to the site to let you know the current possibility for a zombie outbreak. That's right you will know the probability that you may see those brain eating baddies come after you. The farther to the left, the safer you are. If the meter is in the red, you better take cover, your brain just popped up on the menu.

Powdered Milk

The first time I heard of this stuff was from Garrison Keillor. He sings about powdered milk biscuits weekly on A Prairie Home Companion on National Public Radio. I couldn't imagine why anyone would want powdered milk. I mean real milk if bad enough but someone powderized it. What a sick person they must be.

Of course, I have learned more about food store and emergency essentials and realized it is actually a staple everyone should have. Being a person who detests the taste of milk, I was apprehensive. But then again, I figured it couldn't possibly taste worse than the real stuff does. So, I decided to buy a #10 can.

If you do an online search, you find several places that sell powdered milk. You can even find it in your local grocery store. I did try the grocery store first, but did not find them in the #10 can size. Just small pricey boxes. And of course the #10 can is WAY cooler (at least it looks reuseable). I decided to order some through a company I have gotten some other emergency supplies through, BePrepared.com. I know most people do all kinds of research then decide which brand is best, but me, I picked the one with the cutest label. The cows were too cute to pass up? Don't you agree? My cost (without shipping) was about $16! Anyone who knows me know that is WAY more than I like to pay for ANYTHING! But, the canister says there are 72 1 cups servings. And 2/3 cup serving makes 1 quart. And it takes 4 quarts to make a gallon. So, the math looks like this:

In theory I can make 27 gallons which means it costs me $0.59/gallon. Not bad considering a regular gallon costs about $3. Of course, with the way I mix, at least 2/3 cups will be ingrained in my counter tops...

My first experiment did not go as well as intended. I took one of those almost gallon bottled water jugs and decided if I poured a little bit of the water out I could put the powdered milk in it and mix it that way. I finally got all of the milk in the jug (after the huge mess of water and powdered milk everywhere). Shook it up. I added some vanilla flavoring and 2 packets of artifical flavoring. I read online somewhere that those two things made the stuff "drinkable". I poured a little for the daughter to drink. Yes I made my poor little child drink this stuff first. She seemed unharmed by it so I tried it. No wonder she liked it. With my additives it tasted like a sweet drink. So, drinkable = YES.
My second experiment has not boded so well though. Some how I have yet to fully dissolve all the milk into the water so there are explosive chunks that attack during drinkage. BLECK! Nothing can fix the taste of the chunks. So I suggest, thorough stirring and dissolving of the milk. I still nauseated from the taste. Because I was feeling brave thinking the last mix went so well, this one will be good too...Obviously I was wrong.

I can say conclusively that I like the whole powdered milk stuff. Its cheaper than regular milk. It has a longer shelf life. It can have a good taste. However, you must mix it well. That is so imperative. It does take a lot more effort to make too. But when there are zombies roaming around and no cows to give you milk, the effort really doesn't matter.

Next on my list to look into: Powdered eggs. Anyone know where to get theses??


Watching for explosive chunks,

The wife


Note: This post is not endorsed by any of the entities noted above. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the wife. Your experiences may vary by using those products noted above. So no whining or complaining if you think this stuff tastes horrible or you are horribly maimed by the chunks. Use said products at your own risk.

Zombie Funny

Ahhh..what a better way to sum up a zombie outbreak than the way that TheOatmeal.com has done. Check it out here!

Thanks Susan for the great link!

So, learn anyways to keep from being zombie food?

Jobs that Make You Easy Targets for a Zombie

I was watching TV the other day (The Zombie Diary if you're curious). And I started thinking, man its got to be terrible to be hospital personnel during a zombie outbreak. I mean you would be at the epic center of the outbreak. Hundreds of zombies showing up to feast on your delicious looking brain. So, I started thinking what other jobs would it suck to have during a zombie outbreak. Below is my list (these are in no particular order)

(1) Doctors/nurses
(2) Police officer
(3) Mortician
(4) Funeral Director
(5) Grave Digger
(6) EMS Worker

The “To Go” Pack

Inventory is finally over. I hate inventorying. But now I have a LIST! I know what is in The Family’s coffers to keep us ready to go if we ever needed to flee from the zombies.

So here’s the list:

• Aspirin
• Antacids
• Back Pack
• Battery-powered or hand crank radio
• Can Opener – Hand operated
• Contact case
• Contact solution
• Deodorant
• Dust mask
• Emory boards
• Facial cloths
• Facial Tissue
• Feminine Hygiene Products
• First aid kit
• Floss
• Garbage bags
• Hand Sanitizer
• Hair bands
• Ice Pack – Injury
• Lip Balm
• Lotion
• Nail Clippers
• Note pad
• Razors
• Shampoo
• Soap – bar
• Soap – body wash
• Toothbrushes
• Toothpaste
• Towelettes
• Tweezers
• Whistle
• Wipes

I even removed a few items. I figured if this is a 3 day supply, no need for those full sized items. Anyway, after figuring out what I had I found several lists of what should be included in a “To Go” pack and determined what I am missing.

Missing:

• blankets
• Cell phone with chargers
• clothes
• copy of important documents
• Flashlight and extra batteries
• Food, at least a three-day supply of non-perishable food (how'd I forget this?)
• games
  
• Local maps
  
• Method of water purification
• money (not sure that this will really help you with zombies. Do they take bribes?)
• poncho
• prescription medications
• rope
• sewing kit
• tent
• sleeping bag (one per person)
• tools (shovel, knife, wrench, pliers)
• water proof/windproof matches
• Water, one gallon of water per person per day
  

I'm still not sure how to store the correct amount of water in an easily moveable pack. If anyone has ideas, leave them in the comments section.

Rummaging through the pantry,
The wife